Losers and users

[JacJacJacqui]

Time for my very own thread about my very own depressing love life. More like an area to vent. I just need to get this off my chest.

I've been in love with someone for about 6 years. We're pretty close, done everything that couples do together without going so far as to say that we are a couple. He went to Europe for 2 months and got back last week. While he was away I said jokingly "Bring me some Belgian chocolates while you're there", to which he replied "I'm not going to Belgium but I'll get you some Swiss chocolate, it's better anyway". So he got back last Thursday (I wasn't actually sure which day he'd be coming back) and I had left my phone in my car that day. When I got back to my car that night after work, I had 4 missed calls from him. So I went home, ate my dinner, had a leisurely bath and then called him back. Had a little chat, I didn't ask that many questions. He told me he brought some Belgian chocolate but not from Belgium because he didn't go there but from the airport, "but they're still Belgian!". Up to this point, you might be thinking that sounds pretty sweet. Then he comes out with "So when do you want to come pick it up?". Am I right to feel pissed off and offended about being asked to pick them up? What an arsehole.

[Kingswood]

hahahaha

sorry if i'm not meant to reply to this

ive been in love, ok maybe thats a bit strong, it may just be a huge crush, anyways with a girl for about 2 years and i always end up in similar scenarios where i read these little things that she does that just piss me off. as in, she would do alot of things that would be very sweet and suggest she feels the same way and then she stuffs it all up by a little thing that she would say...

ah god its tragic aint it? lol

6 years is a long time thogh, why has nothing ever happened?

[Bucks5]

The guy at least remembered to get you the chocolates, so he was partially considerate and thoughtful. You have to give him some credit.

Do you know for sure that he had no intention of dropping them off had you answered your phone, during any of the 4 missed calls? It would seem he went into great lengths to contact you.

[Miss_Lisey_Molloy]

Are they Guylian chocolate seashells, or the same sort of product??

If so, I'll happily go and pick them up for you!!

I would be cut if he did that to me.. If you'd been in that sort of "relationship" for a few months, I'd understand he's just keeping it simple, but 6 years of effort.. Get in the bloody car, boy!

Love always, Alyssa xoxo

[sam.]

Are they Guylian chocolate seashells, or the same sort of product??

omgosh. best chocolate EVER.

[Miss_Lisey_Molloy]

Are they Guylian chocolate seashells, or the same sort of product??

omgosh. best chocolate EVER.

Absolutely!! I told everyone I knew that they were my all-time favourite when I was in VCE.. Birthdays and Valentines Days were fantastic those two years haha!

Love always, Alyssa xoxo

[Kingswood]

jst kidding

[i_luv_licca]

I dunno, i wouldn't be THAT pissed off. I mean, he did just come back from overseas and is probably jetlagged and tired and stuff. And you have to remember he has been away from his place for 2 months, lots of things to do there.

How bout you do a 50/50 and meet half way haha

At least he remembered you, and bought you something!!!

[luvdids]

So he got back last Thursday (I wasn't actually sure which day he'd be coming back) So I went home, ate my dinner, had a leisurely bath and then called him back. Had a little chat, I didn't ask that many questions.

So he's tried calling you 4 times to which you didn't answer. You weren't even sure when he was coming back... Then after seeing his 4 missed calls you're such a good friend, you go home, have dinner, have a bath, then decide to call him back and show basically little interest in his trip.???

And he's the asshole?? If I was him I would've eaten the chocolates already.

[JacJacJacqui]

So he got back last Thursday (I wasn't actually sure which day he'd be coming back) So I went home, ate my dinner, had a leisurely bath and then called him back. Had a little chat, I didn't ask that many questions.

So he's tried calling you 4 times to which you didn't answer. You weren't even sure when he was coming back... Then after seeing his 4 missed calls you're such a good friend, you go home, have dinner, have a bath, then decide to call him back and show basically little interest in his trip.???

And he's the asshole?? If I was him I would've eaten the chocolates already.

I'm not his friend. I'm just some idiot he used for 6 years who's just coming to her senses. Did I mention that just before his trip he had a birthday party at a club on Chapel and I messaged him saying I was waiting in the line and when I got in 10 minutes later, he had his arms around someone else? I hope he eats 50 boxes of chocolates and chokes. Sorry, maybe I should have explained the situation better. For a long time he has said that he's not ready to commit because there were things he still hadn't done as a single person. This trip was pretty much the big one, he said "who knows what can happen after that". Well the trip is over and it doesn't look like anything has changed. He's still only willing to put in minimal effort for maximum returns.

[JacJacJacqui]

jst kidding

Read it.. I think it was probably the turning point in my thought processes actually!

[JacJacJacqui]

The guy at least remembered to get you the chocolates, so he was partially considerate and thoughtful. You have to give him some credit.

Do you know for sure that he had no intention of dropping them off had you answered your phone, during any of the 4 missed calls? It would seem he went into great lengths to contact you.

I knew he had no intention because the only time he comes to my house is when my parents are away and he thinks he's going to get sex. Plus, I was at work. He knows that.

[Bucks5]

I'm not his friend. I'm just some idiot he used for 6 years who's just coming to her senses. Did I mention that just before his trip he had a birthday party at a club on Chapel and I messaged him saying I was waiting in the line and when I got in 10 minutes later, he had his arms around someone else? I hope he eats 50 boxes of chocolates and chokes. Sorry, maybe I should have explained the situation better. For a long time he has said that he's not ready to commit because there were things he still hadn't done as a single person. This trip was pretty much the big one, he said "who knows what can happen after that". Well the trip is over and it doesn't look like anything has changed. He's still only willing to put in minimal effort for maximum returns.

It would have been nice to know this upfront, I wondered where the users came into it.

Sounds like he has had the best of both worlds for 6 years, no doubt this behaviour is well and truly entrenched. After you have let him get away with it for such a long time do you really see him changing? I don't.

[yadster#13]

mmmm hard one
the choccies were thoughtfull and having 4 missed calls shows he was putting in a decent effort, you prob should have called him back earlier as he prob thought to himself, well she obviously isnt that keen to see me so meh, and changed his tune a bit. As in " so when you going to pick them up "
On the other hand ( no offence to the guys in here ) BUT men have strange ways of showing they care. I wouldnt take it too personal as I seem to do that a lot with my man and you know thats just him, not the romantic but does other little things that shows he cares.
And you just end up taking it to heart and being upset.
Act casual like might pop around on the week-end to pick them up if I have time, make it out like he is the last thing on your mind girl

[JacJacJacqui]

Thanks for the advice guys and I know you're all right! By the way, I did date a few other guys in the past 6 years and was with one for about 6 months so I have tried to move on in the past and, as far as I know, he's had chicks here and there but nothing serious.. Strange, highly toxic situation...

I do plan on playing it cool yadster, I was thinking of just letting him contact me from now on, and just generally making myself less available, not in a rude way but yeah, in a casual sort of "you're not my priority anymore" sort of way, you know?