What made you sad today?

[stui magpie]

^
Meditation is very good. An App I was referred to is Health Minds, it introduced me to the concept of Active meditation. You can use the principles of mindfullness and meditation while going for a run for example. Focus on breathing, being present and opening the senses which all helps clear the mind.

I try to do it on my morning walks.

[pietillidie]

Skids, how are you faring?

Mum got through a fairly hefty op (don't ask - a women's health thing), which is quite a stress living so far away. Apparently it went well and she's dosed up on pain killers, but anxious to hear from my sister this evening (your morning).

[Skids]

Skids, how are you faring?

Mum got through a fairly hefty op (don't ask - a women's health thing), which is quite a stress living so far away. Apparently it went well and she's dosed up on pain killers, but anxious to hear from my sister this evening (your morning).

A heap better now I know it hasn't spread. Had another biopsy done yesterday. A 'core' biopsy. Big needles, neck is a bit sore today.
Cancer is confined to my 2nd tracheal ring, so hopefully, when I find out about the operation next week, they'll tell me my larynx won't be effected, fingers crossed on that one.

Weaning off those meds. The anxiety was mostly the fear it had spread and I was going to find out I was totally screwed.

Just waiting now for next appointment date with the surgeon.

[lazzadesilva]

I sincerely wish you every blessing and success with your illness. You are showing tremendous courage and strength in dealing with it.

[partypie]

Best wishes Skids! Keeping the fingers crossed for a good outcome

[think positive]

I sincerely wish you every blessing and success with your illness. You are showing tremendous courage and strength in dealing with it.

Couldn’t agree more

Good luck with it skids, here’s hoping/patting for nice clean margins xxx

And that you don’t lose your voice either xx

[watt price tully]

^ Good luck with it Skids.

[Skids]

Thanks again everyone.

Bit of trouble sleeping last night (meds wearing off??), neck is very sore and swollen where the biopsy was taken. Not sure if it's my imagination or not, but breathing seems to be a bit laboured and finding the best position to lay down in has become more difficult.

The MRI report - Comment: Taken in conjunction with the appearance on the CT three months ago, the
large (approximately 6 cm) lesion related to the left thyroid lobe has appearances most
in keeping with a chondroid neoplasm (likely.. low-grade chondrosarcoma) arising from a a
left proximal tracheal cartilage, focally indenting the tracheal lumen and displacing the left
thyroid lobe superiorly.

At the inferior aspect of its medial margin it causes significant narrowing and focal
indentation of the proximal trachea, which is also displaced to the right, and on review of the CT it
appears inseparable from the left lateral margin of the second tracheal ring. The left strap muscles lie
immediately anterior to the lesion and the left common carotid artery and proximal subclavian
artery posteriorly displaced, lying immediately posterior to the lesion.


In layman's terms - it's in a cnut of a spot is what one surgeon has told me.

[think positive]

I like an honest surgeon, good luck mate when isthe op?

[pietillidie]

^Yeah, anxiolytics wearing off can defo affect sleeping, Skids. Maybe muscle tension from holding your posture differently to take pressure off your neck area is affecting your breathing? It can happen subtly.

Massage/relaxation combo might be worth a try. It's incredibly easy to subconsciously tense different muscles.

One of my sins is checking my phone late. I often dream about the things I read and wake up thinking about them. (The other day I dreamt I was helping the late QE2 escape some panic like the bombing of Britain No doubt something I read late).

Some people swear by the 'golf ball rolling over the body' technique. You lay on your back and roll an imaginary golf ball along every limb and surface in your mind. I think the idea is that instead of subconsciously tensing muscles or avoiding sore areas, such as your neck, you encounter them in your mind, which helps counter the subconscious tension. Something like that. I've known people who swear by it helping them sleep.

[Skids]

I like an honest surgeon, good luck mate when isthe op?

Find out Wednesday Jo. Guess they'll look at the last biopsy results (taken late Thursday) with all the other info and make a call from there.

[think positive]

I like an honest surgeon, good luck mate when isthe op?

Find out Wednesday Jo. Guess they'll look at the last biopsy results (taken late Thursday) with all the other info and make a call from there.

Xxx. You got us in your corner mate cheers xx

[Skids]

Cheers again , I really do appreciate the support.

It's a strange ride I must say. Over the weekends I find I'm doing ok, apart from the not being able to do anything strenuous... pretty tough watching the Pies play! I've got Kelly, family and friends around and keeping occupied is good. Helping finish off the van for the kids has been good.

Yesterday was a funny one. I've been trying to not take these meds the doc gave me and I was up early, about 2am. Took the dog for a walk, but just couldn't shake the 'down' feelings that were partying in my mind.
I dropped Kel off at work and headed home.
It was a pretty grey morning, turned the heater on, flopped on the couch with the dog and I flicked on the box, channel surfing, watching a bit of footy... feeling down on everything really. Thinking maybe the guy who rang me telling me my PET scan was all clear got it wrong, maybe it has spread... just negative stuff.

Then I thought, "what are you doing?!". I pulled my sad arse off the couch, turned the heater off, opened all the blinds and windows and got moving. Did a couple of loads of washing, washed the dishes, picked up all the dog shit, pruned a few plants and cut off some of my lovely Mr Lincoln roses.

Mopped the floors, lit up a couple of the nice smelling candles Kels got and then sat down for a cup of tea in my, now, fresh, open breezy home!

Felt a heap better and It was almost time to pick Kel up from work.

I rang a close mate and had a bit of a yarn, rang my supervisor at work and we dribbled on for a while... basically shared how I was travelling and had a few laughs with the boys, it was good.

It got me thinking though, there really is a lack of support for some people. I mean, you get told you have cancer, get sent for all these tests and then there's no real follow up from anyone.
I have been lucky, most things have happened pretty fast, but maybe a call from the pathology mob yesterday, just saying Hi, just letting you know, we've received your biopsy samples and are checking them out now, we should have some results back to your surgeon with 48 - 72 hrs.... something like that... ya know?

Anyway, I'm up at 3am again today and in the shed finding some rose bush fertilizer, surfing the net and about to head off with the dog for a stroll.
I've taken half of one of those tabs, they just seem to take the edge off. I'll keep using them sparingly until I get the plan I guess, they do help, so why not?

[watt price tully]

Re support re Cancer this might be helpful:

https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support

[stui magpie]

Nice one WPT.

Skids, it's good to keep busy but take time to be kind to yourself. With what you're going through, feeling some level of anxiety is completely natural. So called "positive thinking" like telling yourself to get up and get going, stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself can actually be unhelpful. If one of your daughters was going through this, would you say that to them? If not, why say it to yourself.

Talk to yourself as you would to someone else going through this. Be positive but suporting and accepting and caring.

Also, suggestion, what do you like to do to relax? When you just feel like switching off and chilling out? Whatever it is, put some time aside each day to do that, at least for a while